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I accepted a great responsibility to my patients and any violation of their trust would result in my immediate dismissal or worse. Nursing is my life, honey, and the thought of not having that frightened me to death. After I left you, I remembered the way your mother looked at me when I was brushing your hair one evening and when I rolled you over to smooth the sheets under you. In my heart, I knew she suspected that we were closer than a normal nurse patient relationship. I believed then, and I believe now, that she knew there was an inappropriate emotion there. ‘She hasn’t said anything to me,’ I said. ‘But I haven’t been around you,’ she reminded me. ‘She might just feel that my absence solved her concerns. If she sees me here, it might not be that way.’ ‘I don’t care,’ I said. ‘I can’t stand not seeing you.’ ‘That wasn’t my only fear, Danni,’ she said. ‘An even greater fear, and the one that hurt the most, was the fear that you would resent me for what I’d done or that you could. So we dressed nicely, Jill in a V-necked sweater and short skirt, and we walked in silence down the block. The party was about ten couples and a few singles, all of them enjoying the wine and Scotch. I mingled for a while then ran into our hostess, Amanda, a pretty lady in a low-cut top. We got to talking about computers somehow, and she said, 'God, Andy, you know so much more about this than I do. Could you take a look at my computer?''Sure ... when would be a good time?''How about now?' She gave me a big smile.I shrugged and smiled back as she took my arm and walked with me to the stairs. Upstairs at the far end was their bedroom, and her computer sat on a small table. I sat down with my drink and began trying to figure out why it was running slowly and giving her strange error messages. I got absorbed in the work, and when I realized I had been at it for over an hour I said, 'I think that is as much as I can do tonight, Amanda. It should be running better, and if it still gives.
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